Untitled
Wednesday, April 06, 2005 | 10 comments
byNidhi Khurana
I close my eyes and open the door
To a world of possibilities and allure
We'll see what life has in store,
Ah yes, we'll see for sure.
From the castle's perch, I see a virgin road,
winding up the country to my door,
Through lush meadows and sun-kissed farms,
Balmy air wafts in to soothe a sore.
I hear in distance the sound of light steps,
Anticipation shining in my eyes,
I scurry to the foyer clutching at my dress,
And as I start to open the door,
It just flies open in my face,
A gust of wind and of him, no trace!
Fantasy spins beautiful yarns of gold,
embellished with diamonds and lace,
Alas, life's brutal and cold
Dreams get shattered in a jiffy,
and the eternal dreamer falls from grace!
Wednesday, April 06, 2005 | permalink | 10 comments
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10 Comments:
Lovely bunch of metaphors. Reminds you, in a way, of Lady of Shallot. Thanks for sharing it.
By Anonymous, at April 07, 2005 9:53 PM
Brilliant employment of imagery! The castle, 'lush meadows' and gold fantasies remind me of Coleridge and his "sunny pleasure-dome"; the 'virgin road' in the second stanza took me back to Frost's many roads.
All in all, rich and beautifully written. And as you can probably tell, I'm fast becoming a fan! :)
By Anonymous, at April 07, 2005 10:42 PM
Sarkari afsar log kabse itne creative hone lage! :p
By BD, at April 08, 2005 9:55 AM
I think the anti-climactic ending works for rather than against the flow and effect of the poem....
By Confluencer, at April 09, 2005 2:27 PM
Though I am in no position at all to say this, still let me take the liberty: How about substituting the word "jiffy" with something more formal-ish. I mean "jiffy" is kinda colloquial and stands out among the rest of the vocabulary of the poem. May be "in a flash" or something? I don't know what I am saying. So may be just ignore this.
By Anonymous, at April 09, 2005 10:33 PM
Thanks, everyone.:)
And Gurinder: I am inclined to agree with your thoughts on the use of 'jiffy'. More critiques, comments are welcome.
By Anonymous, at April 10, 2005 10:11 PM
Nidhi, all I can say is BRILLIANT!!
By Saurabh, at April 11, 2005 11:38 AM
My words of praise are redundant. The poem speaks for itself.
By Nickie`, at April 17, 2005 7:07 AM
lovely.
seldom does poetry move me, this has.
By divya chandramouli, at April 20, 2005 1:49 AM
wow, your poetry has moved divya. it surely has a strong punch then!
- Sayan.
By Anonymous, at April 28, 2005 11:47 AM
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